Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
