just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
