i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
