Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
