Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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