if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
