that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
