Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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