I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
