I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
