Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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