I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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