He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
there was a trapeze. enough said
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Randomize
