She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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