All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
