i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
