I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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