Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
