I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
the raccoons are back...
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