sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
