You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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