I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
