if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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