Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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