if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
