apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
