Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
