when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Can I color on your dick again?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
