i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
