tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
