lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Randomize
