One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
