took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Randomize
