The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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