oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
