"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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