i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
