Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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