your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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