Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
