It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
