i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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