i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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