She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
