Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
