I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
