my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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