Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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