No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
