Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I just found puke in my bra..
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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