Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Randomize
