She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
