I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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