I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
