okay pat passed out under dana's car
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
