When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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