Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize