6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
